Pig-headed rodent

When you want something so badly,
never mind the consequences.
The people around you.
The pain along the way.
For you know
that the moment you give up,
all of it would mean nothing



...coz it'd be just the same
as dying.

65-proof

It's a common knowledge that
when you drink alcoholic beverages,
things tend to get...
a little blurry.

But somewhere along
the "drinking sessions",
you'd be surprised how some things
would actually be clearer than ever.

Needle in a haystack

No, I am not one of life's heavily oppressed.
I have a family.
a few people whom I can call friends,
and I'm financially stable (sort of).
A sound life, so to speak.

But why do I still feel like I am slowly being pushed into a dark abyss?
Why am I still being consumed with a great feeling of discontent?
Like I somehow... don't belong.
What's wrong?
What's lacking?

As the search goes on,
I fear that that by the time I find it,
it'll already be too late.
For me, for the people around me.
And that thing, whatever it is, would have already lost its worth.
Its purpose.
Along with mine.

Can anyone even help me?
To what extent?
And what in exchange,
when at the moment I feel I have little worth?

With all these looming questions,
I still somehow try to take a positive view of things.
Focus on the brighter side, as some would say.
But
every time I do, I just end up being fazed by the light.
And so I'd cover my eyes and settle back
in the comforts of the dark where my eyes are slowly,
but surely,
starting to get used to.

For you who's reading this,
I do not expect you to understand
nor to sympathize with me.
Do not even dare to judge,
as many have done in the past,
for this time
I really don't care no more.

This is just me, the author.

Baring. Exposing myself.
Blurting out all the hurt,
the confusion,
the despair.

No need to mask these emotions through flowery words,
poetic, rhyming lines,
or any of those shit.
I'm simply laying everything out in the open,
trying to find some answers amidst all these questions
in this deluge of a mind,or life in general.

"Stolen Wish"


I just wish
I can give you
everything you want,
everything you need,
like you do for me.

But at the moment,
all I can give
is my best.
And I hope
you'll still love me for that,
like I do you.

"I only have eyes for you"


You are the best thing that happened to me
though there you are,
still with overflowing potential.

It feels like I've known you my whole life
but it seems
I'm missing those that are truly essential.

You come as an ambitious person
yet the path you traverse
is full of uncertainty.
Why?... I have yet to clearly see.

It is still a long, long journey
and trials abound.
But you will never be alone.
Just look in the mirror,
you'll always see me 'round.

Whatever happens,
what destiny may hold for you,
let it be known
that one thing holds true:


I only have eyes for you.

Unique

You.

Who caused me many sleepless nights.
You.

Who even made me shred a few pounds!

The operator of my recent
roller coaster of emotions.

The motivating factor.

The destructive force.

...to you I have nothing but thanks.

For every time you wound my heart,
a scar is left to serve as a reminder of past mistakes.

For every time you break me
into millions of pieces,
when I pick myself up
and try to rebuild
whatever that's left,
a new me is born:

Less weak.

Less stupid.


Less you.

Kompyuteran sa Morato

May Langit.

May lupa.

Meron din Station 168.

Dito, limot mo ang problema kahit panandalian.

Mga inuugat na kamay
sa mouse at keyboard dumudutdot.
Tengang 'la na narinig kundi krimen at sakuna.
minamasahe ng imeem o iTunes.
Isipang gamit na gamit,
ipinapahinga sa google, YouTube o Wiki.

Pwede pumasok kahit sino!
Si Mark Herras man,
o ako.
Eto nga o, magkatabi kami!

Basta ba meron ka P60
sa isang oras solb solb ka na dito.

Oops... teka...

(tingin sa wallet)

(tina-type: "Out na")

'La na pala 'ko sobrang pera.

Pause

Sa sinag ng poste ng Meralco:
mga batang nagsasaya,
mga matatandang malalalim ang iniisip,
mga taong walang pakialam.

Sa minsanang pagkakataon,
namatay ang ilaw.

Lumaganap ang kadiliman.

Ang lahat ay
panandaliang nagkaisa.

Hiyawan.

Maya-maya, nagkakuryente na.

Ang iwanag ay nagbalik.

Walang ibang maipakita... kundi ang mga dating naroon na.

Assist!!

Live!

Laugh!

Be merry!
Do everything your heart desires, or at least die trying.

For who knows..?

This very second,

you just might.

...Full Stop

Waves of sorrow
have passed.

The sun has risen
yet again.

Off goes the hurt.

On comes the mask.

..Overdrive..

Sometimes,
the biggest of smiles
come with
the deepest of frowns.

Like threading safely through the calm surface
but beneath it,
a drowning, deadly sorrow.

Short burst...

With all the superficial things revolving in my life,
how wonderful would it be when the time comes
that I won't find the need to survive
and just live my life the way I want to instead!!!

Chinese Lucky Cat (a short story)

PROLOGUE

...valued by humans for its companionship...

...can be trained to obey simple commands...

...have also been known to learn on their own to manipulate simple mechanisms...

Cats. http://www.wikipedia.org/

I never liked cats. Those good for nothing animals...

All they do is cuddle you, but only when they feel like it. And rats are their favorite diet!

That's why I was so friggin' surprised when I came to love just this one cat.

Prettiest thing I've ever seen back then, much as I hate its kind. Took care of it as if it was my most valuable possession. Fed it, even tried to train it to some extent. Long story short, I learned to love it. And somehow, it loved me back.

But as with all good things in this world, some shit is eventually bound to happen.

Coming home from school, I was surprised when I couldn't find my cat anywhere inside the house. Looked everywhere, then moved on searching outside the house. Until nightfall. Wasn't sure at first but was so fuckin' surprised when I finally heard it purr inside the house of some faraway neighbor. Me, being the jealous type, flared up. A LOT. Got into an argument with whoever owned the house. An argument that ended in a brawl, with my eyes severely damaged that I eventually had to wear glasses. Been wearing it for years now. *sigh*

Years passed. I still have the cat, and I hate its kind even more. Great times, worst ones, we spent together. With my glasses on, of course. Why I never bothered to find another pet, I do not know.

I'd skip some events now 'coz my cat's already bitchin' 'bout me spending too much time for this composition. Whew!

And mind you, taking care of this cat is no easy task in all respect!!!!

Emotionally...

Intellectually...

Physically...

I'd love to elaborate more on this but again, my apologies.

My bitchin' cat, remember?

But just to prove a point. I have my pen on one hand, and a cane on the other. Yep. A cane. A sturdy, reliable one if I might add.

My cane to walk and glasses to see.

And this silly cat sleeping beside me.

EPILOGUE

First few months of having my cat, made a few discoveries about its past. It was actually owned by someone previously for quite a while. But for reasons only the previous owner would ever really know, he rid himself of it. That was when I found the cat. And changed my life forever.

For me, it’s a very subjective topic whether or not it had brought me good luck, or misfortune. One thing's for sure, though: THE KITTENS ARE LOVELY!!!

Kahulugan. Pasasalamat

S a inyo, mga natatangi kong yaman, ang inspirasyon ko sa maiksing akdang ito...
A ng siyang pinagmulan, kadugo, angkan, pinag-ugatan ng aking katauhan...
Y akapin mo ako't patuloy hagkan, bigyang buhay hanggang sa kasalukuyan...
A t syempre pa, 'di ko makakalimutan, sa aki'y naging totoo, kayong mga iilan.

Full Circle

Umaga.

Iminulat mga mata.

Hudyat ng bagong panimula.

Tumitilaok na manok

tila inaanunsyo sa mundo

isang pag-asa

sa gitna ng delubyo.

Dumaan ang tanghali.

Ang pangarap

ay unti-unting napawi.

Simula nang masinghot

masamang hangin,

pinupuno ang kaisipan

ng maruming hangarin.

Nabahiran na ng kadiliman

busilak na kalooban.

Hanggang sa nag-gabi.

Pag-asa’y tuluyang napawi.

Dala-dala ang kabiguan

hanggang sa libingan.

Balik lang ang lahat

sa kung saan nagsimula.

Sa wala.

Oh! Gravity

There seem to be no escaping this bottomless 
pit.

The goddamned slippery walls ain't much help as well.

Either struggle holdin' on,

or accept the joy
and pain

of free fall.

It's like fighting the inevitable.

Escaping destiny?

Don't even know if there is such.

They say it's lonely at the top.

But I wouldn't know,

for I haven't been there yet.

But isn't it much better

than venturing into the unknown?

It is I

who put myself to the edge.

Just had no idea

that t'was gonna be this hard

to completely

let go.

Rat Race

Moving on like a possessed man,

despite the seemingly endless road...

*beep*

All the signs are pointing to that direction alone,

body and soul moving almost automatically...

*beep*

(Ignoring the beeping sound)

As if the journey itself wasn't difficult enough,
it stuffed itself more, into impossible proportions...

*beep*

*beep*

Another obstacle passed. Millions more to go...
Shit.

*beep*

Pitfall festival!
Trapdoor galore!
Even stepped on a few land mines,
and lost one leg along the way.
NO BIGGIE!

*beeping sound gets faster*
(WHAT...)

*and faster*
(THE...)

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

W R O N G  T U R N

*beeping sound stops*

And just when you thought

you were headed to the right direction.

Fuck.

Now... where to?